Geyvalt.

I'm waking up today feeling angry and disappointed. I'm fading to obscurity in what I thought to be a lot of friend's lives. I know part of it is on me, but at the same time, I'm terrified of becoming 'that' graduate. The one who didn't ever grow up and leave. I can think of several off the top of my head. I don't want to be them, but it seems as though your choices are to either a) be them or b) become a memory. What do you do with a choice like that? I don't have a lot of friends here yet, so all I can see is all my college friends moving on with their next years of school, jobs, law schools, etc while I sit at home and pretend my dog can respond when I talk to her. And speculate on whether the dog next door is pregnant.

I'm waking up on the wrong side of the internet to begin with-Right now C and I's communication is great, but it's also 'Mission first-family second'. As it has been, as it will be till hubs leaves the Army. I'm bitter about that. I want to be first. Or at least first and a half. I'm tired of sitting on GChat all night till I can't keep my eyes open, only to sign off with silence. I'm tired of asking for an email and not getting it--he has the internet, so I'm not going crazy psycho wife on this one. I'm not asking for a love letter, extolling all his deepest thoughts and desires, I'm asking for a 'good night, sorry i was busy doing work, i'll make it up to you'.  Just one line.

And I realize that the previous paragraph is ridiculous, and that I should be happy with what I have. I am very happy that he's in a safe area and that he has internet and is able to talk as much as he is. But if this is the quality, I almost wish we had less communication.



Up and at em-- gotta get the house clean. My parents come in Saturday. My dad has to leave the next day, but my mom will stay for awhile. They're helping me set up the house and figure out what to do with my yard. They're also bringing C's truck so I don't have to wake up at 4 to take him to work.