17 August 2010

Job Hunting

is stealing my soul.

Seriously-wakeup, check social networking, look for jobs, see if the army resume builder has set me any more 'no thanks' messages.
(go about my day)
Check for more jobs, see if I have any more 'no thanks' messages.
Stress out about my job search, lash out at my husband(Pretty sure he's at his wits end with me on this one), go to bed.

Wakeup and do it all over again.

For awhile, it was nice to not have a job, school, or anything else to do. I got to relax--something I didn't do enough while in school. I was stressed, I needed a break.

Now I'm bored to tears and at my wits end.

Don't tell me to apply outside my comfort zone-I've done that. I've applied for finance and accounting jobs. I hate math.
Don't tell me to apply below my degree level- I've applied for hourly jobs at places like Macy's. I got an interview, and they declined to employ me.
Don't tell me when I stop stressing, it'll happen. Because I've gone through just that-periods of extra stress and no stress. Nothing. Happens.

Yes, I do not need a job. C technically makes enough to support both of us and the dog--but I'm a person who defines myself by what I do. I sit at home all day. Yes, I clean and take care of the dog....but  that doesn't feel like much.

I'm angry at the people who ran my degree program. "It's a versatile degree, you can do anything with it. You'll find a job anywhere." False-you'll find a job anywhere so long as it's in a major metropolitan area.
I'm intensely jealous of a few of my friends who have recently accepted jobs. I don't begrudge their happiness and success-by all means they deserve it! I'm glad they have jobs, and I'm glad they're both working somewhat in their field. I just want it to be my turn. I've been putting off posting  here hoping I'd be writing about a job offer next. However, I still haven't heard anything from my only promising job interview.
I'm angry at myself, for even writing this. For picking a degree program that has provided me with no opportunities.
I'm frustrated/shallowly angry at my husband for 'making' us move here--had we moved to my hometown, I'd likely have a job. It's not his fault, and It's stupid of me to feel this way...but I do.
I feel at times (not something I'll follow through with) that I might as well get pregnant-because then at least I'd have a REASON to stay home.

Sigh. Back to the search.


  1. You wrote EXACTLY (yes, even the pregnancy part) how I am feeling right now. I know just how you feel.

  2. <3 I know it's tough. I've been doing exactly what you have. Just realize it's not just your field. It's everything. I hate that all these places say they are hiring, I applied to all of them and NO ONE gets back to me. Can you do some volunteer work outside of the house until you find a job? That might satisfy your need to be productive with something.

  3. I know how you feel. I have been looking since we moved. I have been out of work two years (despite spending thousands on my degree) because of all of the moving. Its hard not to resent that some days. When I find the right job, I hurry, excitedly applying, only to never receive a call. The two years off kicked my butt. No one wants someone (in this economy) who takes time off. Masters, here I come (hahaha). Keep your head up! Keep trying! Keep plugging away!


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