26 August 2010

First comes Love, then comes Marriage...

Then comes So-and-so with a baby carriage....No, I'm not pregnant.

As previously mentioned, I'm a member of some Army Wife message boards. And that I meet a lot of.....interesting.....people that way.  There is one fact of most of them that will never cease to astound me: how many women around my age(23 in December) who already have a child/multiple children. Now, this is not an attack or a jab at them at all, this is just me realizing that their reality is something I never dreamed of for myself.

It's not an unrealistic thing for a lot of wives to have gotten married very quickly, and typically very young. A lot of guys enlist right at 18, and for a lot of reasons, it's sometimes better to get married then too if they're with their love. Then it usually isn't too long before they have kids. It's not unheard of for a woman my age to already have 2 or 3 kids. That freaks me out.

C and I have talked about kids, and that might happen in another 2-3 years. There's too much I want to do and accomplish before I become a mother. I want to have a real job, I want to travel. I want to spend a year actually with my husband, in the same place. I want to be in a better place, financially.  We're not doing poorly by any means, but I'd like to have investments started, our savings at the level I'm comfortable with, and a different car. I want to be more fit, so that losing weight/working out post baby isn't so hard. I want our money in the right places because I plan on staying home with the child for awhile.

Again, this is not saying that anyone is a 'bad' person, or a lesser person if they don't go my way. Maybe they accomplished all they wanted before they had kids, maybe they had an 'oops'(I'm an 'oops'. It's totally fun. :) ) and decided to just keep going, like my parents did.

Needless to say, I just live through all these friends now with their babies. Especially my close friend, my brother. And I already know where I stand on circumcision, breastfeeding/formula feeding, baby-wearing, homeschooling/daycare, types of diapers, types of childbirth, etc thanks to them(For the record, circumcised, breast if possible{but i don't want to pump. ever.}, baby wearing{but not all the time}, daycare/school, disposable diapers, natural as much as possible)

When do you want kids?/When did you start? Did you have certain things you wanted to have accomplished, or did you wait till it 'felt right'?


  1. We are waiting until I get done with school. So like 24-25 probably. But B also wants to buy a house (especially if the market stays like it is) so it might be an extra year or two while we get settled in our new jobs back in the Southeast and decide to where to live. I am really happy being married, but I definitely am enjoying my time alone with B (especially after nearly 3 years apart). If it happens it happens but I don't think we will actively TTC for a few more years.

  2. Mishu and I are both 26. We've been married for 2 years in November (just over a year Catholically) and, as you know, expecting our first children (twins) in January. While I hoped I would have been done with school by now, my constant changing of majors in my pursuit of an AA degree led to a serious delay in getting my BA. We probably could have waited but after losing a pregnancy in August'09, we felt it was the right time to try. :) We own a house and (currently) both of us work. Mishu has more of a stable job (yay Army) than I do but I have all good intentions of working, probably from home, after the babies are born. I definitely intend to continue school as I go to school online. If we decide to have any more children, it won't be until after I have my BA.

  3. Well, you know why I don't have kids yet, but I have to say that I feel really blessed that we were given this time together. It has been really important to me for us to get to a better place financially before we have a baby, and that has happened. By the time we are able to have one (deployment makes it pretty hard to try haha) he will either still be in the Army or in his previous job that has been held for him. I will be a licensed and working nurse. We'll be able to live comfortably and give our child everything he or she needs. I'm glad it worked out this way!

  4. Cam & I weren't actively trying to have a baby... but we weren't preventing either. I haven't finished school, but having a baby isn't going to stop me. I know we can afford her and our bills, but of course I would've loved to be done with school and more savings built up too. However, the thought that always returns to my mind is how I've always wanted to be a mother, I don't know what that drive was all about, but I've always felt it.

  5. Nate & I talk about children, but we aren't ready to give up the things we enjoy doing and dedicate our lives to someone else quite yet. We want to travel and have a house for starters. We want to feel very secure financially. I am excited for that time but I can certainly wait to have a baby. I want to work for a few years and enjoy being young and free to do what I want without the responsibility of a child.


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