"Relationships. We all got 'em. We all want 'em...so what do we do with them?!"(Jimmy Buffet, Fruitcakes. Arguably my favorite song of all time)
I don't mean romantic relationships. That's another thing altogether. I'm talking about friendships, acquaintances, etc.
I am your classic introvert. People exhaust me. I have to have time to myself to recharge. I am a people person, I like to talk to people...but I'm more on the shy side when it comes to first meeting anyone. I like being around people...but at the end of the day I need and crave 30 minutes alone.
I consider myself to be a caring/empathetic person. I'm often the 'counselor' in my group of friends(which as also made me consider Grad school for it...). I like helping people, and giving advice. To be honest(and inflate my ego a bit), I'm good at it and typically right.... much to a lot of people's chagrin, eye-rolls, and "I KNOW"s.... This is my typical role in relationships.
With people who I either:
a) Don't like
b) don't trust
I'm a bitch. I don't put up with crap from people who fit either of those categories. If I'm going to tell my dear friends that they're dumb for skipping meals(Which I do say. Often, and to their face), What am I going to tell someone who I don't trust? Who constantly beats me down?
I analyze all of my relationships constantly and whether they're healthy for me. I analyze the people around me and their actions. I don't judge harshly...That's not my place. I just seriously consider whether I want to be around certain kinds of people. I look at how they interact with different people. I seriously consider how they treat me and my friends...and once that starts going towards the frowny face...it's all over.
I'm at this point now. There is a person who constantly pushes my buttons thinking it's "funny". Or trying to be. I'm not the kind to laugh if you make me angry. Again, I'm not real good at the whole frenemies thing. If you say something to me or a friend of mine that's hurtful....you will know. I will react.
I expect a lot out of my relationships. And if you're not helping me grow or assisting in attainment of some sort of benefit(even if it's just that you make me laugh)....I will stop trying with you.
My brother told me once that every time I called and told him that someone was calling me a bitch, he was proud/happy for me. It's concerning, so I swatted him on the arm and told him he was rude. But then he explained--it wasn't for the fact that my feelings were hurt that he was proud/happy. It was the fact that I had learned to stand up for myself and not take crap from people.
I stand up for myself in relationships. I stand up for my friends in theirs till they can do it on their own.
You are worth so much more than any person who treats you like shit.