Realizing that in about 70 days, I'm packing up and moving across the country.
See, I went to 6 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and 1 high school. I've lived in 6 different places. Those moves weren't as scary. Sure, it's hard to leave friends and all that, but I knew I'd meet new ones in my new school. Plus, no matter where we moved, I had my family--that made us really close.
I don't have that this time. I don't even know how long C will be with me before some sandy territory calls his name. It could be a year, it could be 2 weeks.
It will be me and my husband(or just me), in North Carolina, by ourselves. The closest family is his Aunt in GA, and after that probably my brother in Central KY.
In my capstone course awhile back, the teacher had us all say where we were going post-grad. I felt both jealous and blessed listening to my classmates. Jealous, because they can choose where they want to go (Mostly NYC), and just follow their work. I'm tired of the long distance marriage thing, so just going someplace else isn't an option. And the Army typically doesn't enjoy when you play the "Nah, I'm not going to do what you said" game. Blessed, because I'm taken care of. I have great health insurance, worst comes to worst the Army will provide a roof over our heads, I don't HAVE to work to survive. C makes enough to support the both of us--if that's what we want to do. I just would enjoy life more working or volunteering. I know that I don't do well when I'm not busy, but jobs that are not healthcare related are hard to come by in central NC. I'm an hour away from Raleigh, but who really wants an hour commute-one way?
I thought about trying to get involved in a volunteer position with my sorority. Unfortunately, the closest alum chapter is an hour away, and there are no nearby chapters. I applied to be a PCC(Basically overseeing the collegiate chapters in my state), but I have a feeling I don't have the experience they want(I've already been rejected). So I don't really have that either. Heck, I may not even get to go through our senior ceremony, so what's the point??
It's scary, but we did sign up for this. So I'm re-branding it. It's an adventure. I'll learn new things, we'll be homeowners. I will find a job/volunteering opportunities. Even if he leaves quickly, I'll find a way to occupy time.
Everything will be okay.
Everything will work out how God intends.
And it's not my place to figure everything out-it's his.